The Super Computer worked out that the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything was 42, but along the way it seems to have forgotten the question.
Once upon a time, we knew nothing and questioned everything.
This kept us alive, helped us to grow, helped us evolve our bodies and brains into the “advanced” human species we’ve become today. But have you noticed somewhere along the way we forgot to keep physically evolving?
We finally figured out how to communicate what we’d learned, and then somehow in learning how to teach, we forgot how to learn.
Rules were created to keep us safe and schools were created to teach us what we “knew”, and at the beginning of the evolution of our society structure this was especially important because teaching allowed us to expand our society and learn from our mistakes to keep us even safer.
Except we didn’t.
The more we learned and communicated with our heads, the less we listened and explored with our hearts.
The more educated we became the easier it has been to be mentally lazy.
The more mentally lazy we become the easier it is to be controlled.
The more we are controlled, the longer we stay asleep, the easier it is to fall prey to fear.
Fear is a necessary part of our evolution because it is the instinct that helps us discern good from bad, healthy from unhealthy, safe from unsafe.
If we do not know how to defend ourselves, then it makes sense to be afraid of the dark, but that does not mean the darkness is inherently dangerous or bad.
But what if that fear is being manipulated against us? What if we’ve been trained to believe that what is safe is unsafe, what is bad is good?
We need communication to be able to evolve, to stand on the shoulders of giants rather than reinventing the wheel.
But we need curiosity to keep evolution going.
We must remember And we must question.
We have every bit of information that’s ever been discovered at our fingertips and we can use it to wake us up or to push us back to sleep.
What we learn can make us more afraid or help us to choose more love.
It’s our choice to get educated on what we want, when we want, how we want.
Breadcrumb trails lead us to more of what we love, social networks bring our mutual weirdness together so we experience even more learning, even more safety.
We are in a time where everything and anything is possible for our species and what we do with it is entirely dependent on what we’re willing to ask, accept and embrace.
There was a time where he who controlled the education controlled the power.
But with the library of the world in the palm of our hands, they can no longer burn our books, and We control the power.
This is the next stage of evolution.
If The answer is 42, let the questions begin again now.
Have you ever wondered why sometimes bad habits just keep coming back to bite you? Why you can have the best intentions – great new years resolutions, really smart S.M.A.R.T goals and yet still you end up falling back into old routines after a few short weeks?
Have you ever tried to start something or quit something and found it such a struggle, requiring so much effort it just doesn’t seem worth it, while other people seem to just snap their fingers and its done?
Why is that?
Well the Logical Levels of Change model from NLP is one of the best models I’ve found to explain what is actually going on in our brains when we face changes, and for me, once I understand something I find it a damn site easier to make it happen, don’t you?
The NLP Logical Levels of Change Model was inspired by Gregory Bateson, a well known cultural anthropologist, and developed by Robert Dilts and the pioneers of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
Many traditional therapies focus mainly on the doing aspects of change, the bits they can see – external problems and behaviour – but the problem is that if you only focus on changing what you see on the surface, it’s like chopping the top off a weed and wondering why it grows back.
Every gardener knows that the part of the weed you can see is just the symptom of a much bigger root system below and until you deal with the roots, you’ve never truly solved the problem.
In Transformational Meta Coaching, we deal with the thinking beneath the behaviour, the skills, beliefs, values and identity buried deep in the unconscious mind, and know the external problems and behaviour simply as an indicator of where to start digging.
Let me explain how we use the Six Logical Levels of Change in coaching:
If you stop and reflect on the problems you experience in your world, you’ll notice that even though the external environment you’re in has changed many times over, there are patterns that have repeated throughout your life. For example – bullying in the workplace or clutter in your home or challenges in relationships.
The same is true for the things you excel at – reflect for a moment on the areas that you are most effective at in life and notice that no matter the environment, you’re “a natural” at certain things. Eg parenting, health and fitness, your successful job.
Fulfillment and happiness comes from the experience of living in congruence with the calling in our hearts but this only occurs when all 6 areas are in alignment. So many people experience frustration in their life because they know their external environment doesn’t match up with the mission or calling of their heart and who they say they are, but get stuck in that place because they only change the environment or behaviour and so the problems keep reoccurring.
When you notice these reoccurring patterns, you can choose to be frustrated or excited as they are the most valuable indicators in teaching you the biggest lessons about you. When you recognise a pattern, it’s time to celebrate and look within to change it to “be the change you want to see”.
You can change any in any order but if you only change the surface the change will be less effective, each layer below the surface will make the change more effective
When working with a Meta Coach, our focus is first and foremost on identifying which level is causing you to be stuck then supporting you through the most effective first techniques to shift the block in your thinking or actions to allow you to move forward.
That said, Just changing one area, does not guarantee change in another. When change occurs in a hypnotherapy or Meta Coaching session at the transformational levels, then it is instant, permanent and more likely to impact and stick in the doing levels.
However, just because the transformation has occurred, the evidence may not appear immediately in your external world and so ongoing support and accountability is recommended until the new behaviour’s become habits and the new results start to appear.
Which should I choose first?
Environment – Changing the external environment should be a last resort because everything you are experiencing in your current external environment is simply a reflection of your internal environment. (ie don’t quit your job or leave your relationship thinking the next one will magically be better – it wont unless you change)
Your environment is the one area that can be changed by others without warning or desire eg. Through redundancy, so if that happens, you can choose to see that as scary or a gift, an opportunity to consider if it really was as good as you remember, in which case recreate it, OR if perhaps it just seemed good because it was comfortable. Revisit the Six Core Needs on how to handle uncertainty
Behaviour – simply a symptom of everything below it so “doing change” requires constant focus, effort and accountability to maintain. It also requires a lot of energy and motivation which tends to fade quickly. Consider an accountability buddy to help it stick.
Skills & Capabilities – this is a pivotal part of any lasting change because it impacts up and down the scale. When you learn something new, the new awareness and perspective can change beliefs, values and even what you believe about yourself and the world around you. It is important to bring a level of child like curiosity to any learning though, not the school rote memory nonsense because true learning requires you to apply it to be effective.
It is also vitally important to remember there will always be a learning period taking you through the Conscious Learning Cycle after any transformational change work because even though you have the new belief, that wont instantly give you the years of practice you missed out on with your old beliefs. Eg Transforming a limiting belief of “I’m not creative” to “I am infinitely creative” does not necessarily you’ll be able to paint like michalangelo at the end of the coaching session. You need to take your new belief into new situations, art classes, and go through the learning cycle from basics to Mastery.
Beliefs and values – “transformational change” This work can happen naturally through learning and periods of change in your life, but if you’re after rapid results without years of continuing to repeat the same mistakes, we recommend working with a Meta Coach who understands how beliefs are formed and has the skills to instantly maximise the effectiveness of the Neuro-Plasticity of the brain to give you a jump start in your progress.
Identity – Any identity statement comes with a subset of values and beliefs, loosely based on generalised stereotypes but specifically unique to you eg, “I am a parent/ wife/ lawyer/ doctor/ sick/ healthy.
Significant emotional events tend to be the most powerful catalyst for change as they usually impact multiple areas at the same time, particularly something like the birth of a child and shift one “I Am” statement to another.
If you have experienced a significant emotional event, or want to make changes without waiting for one, then that is the best time to work with a counsellor or coach to help you clarify how the changes in your core belief about yourself will impact in your world, and what you can do to make it a smooth and enjoyable transition.
Spirit Purpose – This is the core truth we’re all working to get back to. A Course In Miracles says “Your goal is to find out who you are and live that”. Many spiritual teachers agree that we’re all born with our purpose in our heart, then our life experiences are designed to guide us to live that purpose. For some people, that is experienced through their faith/religion. For others it is the unconditional love of a child. Or even the awareness that the most rewarding experience is to give freely to others in need.
When you’re trusting the mission in your heart, when you’re on Your purpose, then there is a wonderful feeling of “Flow”. It is as if everything is easy, working in your favour. Carparks open up at crowded shopping centres, opportunities come beating down your door for you to choose at your preference, true abundance flows to you in all areas – health, love, wealth and with it, the complete certainty of knowing you are on the right path.
A Rose, does not compare itself to a tree and try to be that – it simply grows every day into the most beautiful version of itself it can be.
Listen to your heart, get help to clear out the clutter of “Should’s” and enjoy the incredible richness of your life that will follow.
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you’er than you.”
In coaching and human behaviour we know that while each human being is unique, we also share nervous systems that function in the same way, which means there are finite number of human behaviour patterns that we all have in common – we just put them together in many different ways.
The Six Core Needs is one such pattern that is regarded as one of the most influential in how we live and function as a society and critical to how we achieve happiness and fulfillment or live a life of quiet desperation since all behaviour meets one or all those six needs.
In any given moment, these six core needs are the source of lasting, sustainable happiness and fulfillment. Unfortunately they’re also the source of addictions, violent behaviour and depression.
How can the same six needs give such completely different results?
Let’s take a look. First up, here are the Six Core Human Needs from Anthony Robbins.
Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure, safety, security
Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli, adventure
Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed, independence
Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others
The Six Core Needs are broken into two parts – the top four are needs of the Ego, and the last two are needs of the Spirit. The top 4 are the most compelling and as much a part of our life as gravity – doesn’t make sense and we don’t always like it but I still don’t recommend you test the theory.
You’ll notice that they’re also in sets of two that look contradictory to each other – Certainty and Uncertainty/Variety, Significance and Connection/Love. That’s because with each set there is such thing as too much of a good thing.
Have you ever noticed that when things become to certain, too much routine, too much same-same groundhog day then we’ll find a way to spice things up a bit, “Variety is the spice of life” they say.
And have you ever seen significant people that appear to have it all, fame and fortune, but feel alone and spiral out of control because they cant find real connection and love?
Whether we’re consciously aware of it or not, our top four needs are being met every day as they have become crucial to our survival, but we all meet and prioritise them differently. As a general rule, we each have a top two “driver” needs and the priority we choose will impact every aspect of our life, and can cause major conflict – especially in our careers and relationships – if we need to interact with people with a different priority order.
Every need is happening, but which one do YOU prioritise?
On a day to day basis we always have all 4 top needs happening, but there are two in particular that will drive our decisions – one from each set, and within those two there will be one that sits as number 1 priority – the tie breaker Driver need.
To work out your number one Driver, look at each need asking “If you could only have one or the other, which would you choose?” Then take the one you choose and compare it with the next one down.
For example – Certainty or Variety – Certainty. Certainty or Significance – Certainty. Certainty or Connection/Love – Certainty. Number 1 need is Certainty.
Then for number two, do the same with the remaining 3 needs.
Variety or Significance – Significance. Significance or Connection/Love – Connection/Love. Connection/Love or Variety – Connection and Love. Number 2 need is Connection/Love.
Be aware though that the words themselves can impact on people’s choices so make sure you use the descriptions above to get a true representation of your number 1 and 2 driving needs.
When faced with a decision, everyone will decide on the behaviour’s or actions to take based on their driving need, people who are driven by certainty/security will make very different decisions about careers, holidays and investments with a level of risk, to people who are driven by variety/adventure.
This can lead to a lot of challenges for couples trying to plan a holiday if they have different priority drivers…
Even within the priority drivers, there is difference. Imagine that each need set is 100%, within each one we each have a sliding scale balance point where we feel the most comfortable – our natural balance.
If someone has Certainty as number one then it could mean that they have anywhere from 51% Certainty to 99% Certainty (49% Variety to 1% Variety)
This changes the behaviour extremes.
60% Certainty – likes going to the same restaurant, prefers a secure job
75% Certainty – has a set daily routine, prefers an autonomous role they are in control of.
90% Certainty – needs to be in control of most aspects of life, often displays OCD behaviour’s, does not respond well to sudden change
Sometimes our sliding scales get out of whack either by our choice or someone else’s, and when they do it creates extra stress that needs to be managed and brought back into alignment. Read about how to handle change here.
Resourceful / Unresourceful
As we meet the top four needs, our behaviour will be either be resourceful or unresourceful – which forms the most dramatic difference between fulfillment or frustration.
Consider the following questions. Is this behaviour:
Internal or External Driven?
Internal – 100% up to me and reliant on my actions and perspective to succeed
External – requires other people or things to go right or be controlled to succeed.
Sustainable or Unsustainable
If everyone did this same behaviour would the world/business/community be a good sustainable place to be?
Good for me, good for you, good for the greater good?
Unresourceful behaviour’s = external driven, unsustainable, not ecological.
It is important to remember that with all behaviour it is still context dependent so while the behaviours here are generally considered to be resourceful or unresourceful – there will still be certain contexts or extremes that push them to the other side. Eg. Cleaning is a resourceful way to meet your need for certainty, but obsessive compulsive cleaning can lead to an inability to leave the home. Drug taking is an unresourceful way to meet the need for variety but many chronic pain sufferers smoke marijuana to be able to find relief from the pain. Read more here.
Needs of the spirit.
The final two needs are unattainable until the top four are being met in a resourceful way. They’re also the most compelling needs that can pull us forward through more challenges than the top four alone.
Many people say that growth and learning can be achieved at the same time as unresourceful behaviours (enter university…) but there always comes a point where the next level or growth requires a decision to let go of the old behaviour for the new – like throwing off sandbags from a rising hot air balloon.
The final need is the source of ultimate happiness which is being able to contribute to others in meaningful way. There is a reason that we all rally together in a crisis. As humans we’ve learnt that there is survival not just of the fittest but in our society its how we work together and the community we have around us.
At our core, we have a need to want to help others for no other reason than it just feels good. As Zig Ziglar said – “If I help enough people’s dreams come true, mine get taken care of.”
$250/session – Less than a months worth of Cigarettes!
Prevention planning against future smoking triggers
Prevention planning against possible weight gain
Deeper clearing for trauma triggers available on request
Guided meditation tools available to help deal resourcefully with stress
mentoring and accountability available until you have achieved your Aligned Future
Have you tried “everything” to quit smoking?
Are you at your wits end – know you need to but just don’t know how?
What to quit smoking – for good?
With the government making moves to raise the cost of cigarettes to more than $40 a pack there has never been a better time to quit.
Most people have tried to quit smoking many times before they finally succeed. They may even have a few days smoke free but then start again because they haven’t planned for the how they’re going to deal with the triggers that made them smoke in the first place.
There are many aspects to quitting smoking that make it either very difficult or very easy – your Aligned Future Hypnotherapist makes sure these are all factored in to your quit session so you leave smoke free and armed with new ways to handle stress.
If you know it’s time – give us a call.
If your 2016 New Years Resolution is to finally quit and follow through on those New Years Resolutions you’re committed to, our sessions are the perfect helping hand to make sure you succeed this time.
All Aligned Future Hypnotherapy sessions are available by application only. We guarantee that at the end of each session you will be completely smoke free and armed with the tools to be a non smoker for life, but we only accept clients who are truly committed to making the change.